Knot My Desk
(from www.notmydesk.com)

Hey, guys.  Have you ever wanted to know the origins of the necktie you wear to work every day?  Me neither.  But I do now, thanks to a book called The The 85 Ways to Tie a Tie, written by Thomas Fink and Yong Mao.

Before we get into all that, you've got to see this ad, which I scanned from the book:

 

Boy, get a load of this, willya?  This is from 1951, which isn't really that long ago.  God knows why the guy is wearing a tie in bed, but it seems to be doing the trick.  Smug bastard.

Van Heusen is still in business, I believe, but I somehow don't think this line of reasoning works these days.

The book is chock full of information about ties.  I mean, CHOCK full.  For instance, I bet you think the first neckties were worn by Roman soldiers, don't you?  I bet you go on and on about it, never shutting up about the Romans and their ties.  Well, you're wrong.  In 1974, the tomb of China's first emperor, Qin Shih-huang-di (pronounced noo-yen) was uncovered, along with an army of over 7,000 terracotta soldiers.  And what were these soldiers wearing?  Around their necks?  Give up?

Yep, a necktie.  Type thing.  Sorta.  And this was way back in about 250 B.C.

After the Chinese and Romans got done with them, the necktie went to France, where it was adopted by "dandies."  After that it went to England, where it got really frilly and ridiculous looking.  That is, until some guy defeated some people or something.  I don't know, it's all in the book.  The result of this was the ties stopped being frilly and started being knotty.

There is an overwhelming amount of information about knots, knot tying, knot science, knot history, and knot theory in this book.  Think I'm kidding?

In order for you to know how to tie all these 85 different knots, you first have to learn all the different moves:

Then follow this table:

And study these figures...

...master these fomulas:

Oh, and a few diagrams...

Hm.

Or, just tie a pair of pants around your neck, like this guy did.

(Thanks to Nikki for getting me this book, which is actually pretty darn cool.  Sure, Nikki is a woman, but she knows more about football and baseball than most guys I know, so it's not too much of an intrusion in our week of testosterone to give her a mention.  Thanks!)