Peter, where John had had `had', had had `had had'; `had had' had had the
examiner's approval.
-- Anonymous
Peter painted the entrance to the pub to read `The Fox and Hound'.
John didn't like the spacing between `Fox' and `and' and `and' and `Hound'.
Thank you!
-- Anonymous
The temperature of Heaven can be rather accurately computed.
Our authority is Isaiah 30:26, `Moreover, the light of the Moon shall be as
the light of the Sun and the light of the Sun shall be sevenfold, as the light
of seven days.' Thus Heaven receives from the Moon as much radiation as we
from the Sun, and in addition 49 times as much as the Earth from the Sun,
50 times in all. Using the Stefan-Boltzmann law for radiation, (H/E)^4 = 50,
where E is the absolute temperature of the earth, gives H as 525 C.
The exact temperature of Hell cannot be computed.... [However] Revelation 21:8
says `But the fearful, and unbelieving...shall have their part in the lake
which burneth with fire and brimstone.' A lake of molten brimstone must be
at or below [its] boiling [temperature], 444.6 C. We have, then, that Heaven,
at 525 C, is hotter than Hell at, 445 C.
-- Applied Optics
You _might_ want to check the literature on that....
-- Robin C. Ball
P
| p p ========= p p
____|______|__|__p_____________=======________|_d__|__|_____|__P______|________
____|___|__|__|__|____|__p_____|__|==|_|______|____^__d__|__|__|__P___|__|__p__
____|___|__|__|__|____|__|_____|__|__|_|______|__________|__|__|__|___|__|__|__
________|_____====____|__|__P__|__d__|_|__|___|__________|__|__|__|___|__|__|__
________|_____________|__|__|__d_____d_|__|___|__________|__===========__|__|__
===| d d
-- Ludwig Beethoven, Symphony No 9
If John Bull turns round to look after you, you are
not well dressed; but either too stiff, too tight, or too fashionable.
-- Bryan `Beau' Brummell
Take great care always to be dressed like the reasonable people of your own
age, in the place where you are; whose dress is never spoken of one way or
another as either to negligent or too much studied.
-- Lord Chesterfield, in a letter to his son
What we suffer from to-day is humility in the wrong place. Modesty has
moved from the organ of ambition [and] settled upon the organ of
conviction; where it was never meant to be. A man was meant to be doubtful
about himself, but undoubting about the truth; this has been exactly reversed.
Nowadays the part of a man that a man does assert is exactly the part he ought
not to assert - himself. The part he doubts is exactly the part he ought not
to doubt - the Divine Reason.
-- G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy
Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors.
It is the democracy of the dead.
-- G. K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy
In elegant world, an irreproachable tie knot is an essential part of one's
toilette; it does not matter whether the knot is simple or complicated,
because the art is what counts. There are some knots which seem casual in
appearance, but which have taken considerable labour before the mirror,
and many a stamped foot, many an exclamation of impatience.'
-- Doctor A. Debray, Hygiene vestimentaire, 1857
Symbolic representation of quantitative entities is doomed to its rightful
place of minor importance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-- Albert Einstein
"[Academic] reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from
its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain
too little falls into lazy habits of thinking."
-- Albert Einstein
The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful
servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has
forgotten the gift.
-- Albert Einstein (?)
There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the
conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he
must take himself for better or for worse, as his portion; that though
the wide universe if full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come
to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is
given him to till.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson, `Self Reliance', Essays
T. has the magical ability to turn his personal foibles into moral
imperatives.
-- Robert Farr
And like the Murphy's, I'm not bitter!
-- Irishman from Murphy's Stout advert,
often confused with myself
By two wings a man is lifted up from things earthly; namely, by simplicity
and purity.
-- Thomas a Kempis, The Imitation of Christ
Who are these heroes!?
-- David Khmelnitskii
When I was your age we didn't have integration. We had to add up differential
units by hand.
-- Joseph Long
Of course Einstein's wrong! I played craps with God just yesterday.
-- Joseph Loius Long
When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find
sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite
different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.
-- A. A. Milne, The House at Pooh Corner
Hence it is that it is almost a definition of a gentleman to say he is one who
never inflicts pain. This description is both refined and, as far as it
goes, accurate. He is mainly occupied in merely removing the obstacles which
hinder the free and unembarrassed action of those about him; and he concurs
with their movements rather than takes the initiative himself. His benefits
may be considered as parallel to what are called comforts or conveniences in
arrangements of a personal nature: like an easy chair or a good fire, which do
their part in dispelling cold and fatigue, though nature provides both means
of rest and animal heat without them. The true gentleman in like manner
carefully avoids whatever may cause a jar or a jolt in the minds of those with
whom he is cast;--- all clashing of opinion, or collision of feeling, all
restraint, or suspicion, or gloom, or resentment; his great concern being to
make every at their ease and at home. He has his eyes on all his company; he
is tender towards the bashful, gentle towards the distant, and merciful
towards the absurd; he can recollect to whom he is speaking; he guards against
unseasonable allusions, or topics which may irritate; he is seldom prominent
in conversation, and never wearisome. He makes light of favours while he does
them, and seems to be receiving when he is conferring. He never speaks of
himself except when compelled, never defends himself by a mere retort, he has
no ears for slander or gossip, is scrupulous in imputing motives to those who
interfere with him, and interprets everything for the best. He is never mean
or little in his disputes, never takes unfair advantage, never mistakes
personalities or sharp sayings for arguments, or insinuates evil which he dare
not say out. From a longsighted prudence, he observes the maxim of the
ancient sage, that we should ever conduct ourselves towards our enemy as if he
were one day to be our friend. He has too much good sense to be affronted at
insults, he is too well employed to remember injuries, and too indolent to
bear malice. He is patient, forbearing, and resigned, on philosophical
princples; he submits to pain, because it is inevitable, to bereavement,
because it is irreparable, and to death, because it is his destiny. If he
engages in controversy of any kind, his disciplined intellect preserves him
from the blundering discourtesy of better, perhaps, but less educated minds;
who, like blunt weapons, tear and hack instead of cutting clean, who mistake
the point in argument, waste their strength on trifles, misconceive their
adversary, and leave the question more involved than they find it. He may be
right or wrong in his opinion, but he is too clear-headed to be unjust; he is
as simple as he is forcible, and as brief as he is decisive. Nowhere shall we
find greater candour, consideration, indulgence: he throws himself into the
minds of his opponents, he accounts for their mistakes. He knows the weakness
of human reason as well as its strength, its province and its limits. If he
be an unveliever, he will be too profound and large-minded to ridicule
religion or to act against it; he is too wise to be a dogmatist or fanatic in
his indifelity. He respects piety and devotion; he even supports institutuons
as venerable, beautiful, or useful, to which he does not assent; he hounours
the ministers of religion, and it contents him to decline its mysteries
without assailing or denouncing them. He is a friend of religious
toleration, and that, not only because his philosophy has taught him to look
on all forms of faith with an impartial eye, but also from the gentleness and
effiminacy of feeling, which is the attendant on civilization.
Not that he may not hold a religion too, in his own way, even when he is
not a Christian. In that case his religion is one of imagination and
sentiment; it is the embodiment of those ideas of the sublime, majestic, and
beautiful, without which there can be no large philosophy. Sometimes he
acknowledges the being of God, sometimes he invests an unknown principle or
quality with the attributes of perfection. And this deduction of his reason,
or creation of his fancy, he makes the occasion of such excellent thoughts,
and the starting point of so varied and systematic a teaching, that he even
seems like a disciple of Christianity itself. From the very accuracy and
steadiness of his logical powers, he is able to see what sentiments are
consistent in those who hold any religious doctrine at all, and he appears to
others to feel and to hold a whole circle of theological truths, which exist
in his mind no otherwise than as a number of deductions.
-- John Henry Cardinal Newman
Knowledge and Religious Duty, Discourse VIII
The Idea of a University
Rational thought is interpretation according to a scheme from which we cannot
escape.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche, Letter to Overbeck
UNIX jokes
% ar m God
ar: God does not exist
% got a light?
No match.
% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.
% If I had a ( for every $ the Congress spent, what would I have?
Too many ('s.
% ^What is saccharine?
Bad substitute.
$ PATH$retending! /usr/ucb/which sense
no sense in pretending!
$ drink matter
matter: cannot create
-- Phrack, vol.3, no.36
The works of the Lord are great, sought out of all them that have pleasure
therein.
-- Psalm 111:2; inscription over the entrance to
the Cavendish Laboratory of Physics, Cambridge
Form the propositional function `a is not b, and whatever x may be, x is c
is always equivalent to x is a or x is b'; form also the propositional
function `a is c, and, whatever x may be, x is c but is not a is always
equivalent to x is b.' Then, whatever c may be, the assertion that one of
these propositional functions is not always false (for different values of
a and b) is equivalent to the assertion that the other is not always false.
-- Bertrand Russell, Principles of Mathematics
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.
-- Revelation 4:18
All science is either physics or stamp collecting
-- Ernest Rutherford
Littlewood Quote
All's Well that Ends Well, Act 2 Scene 2
-- Shakespeare
Today, good taste is often erroneously rejected as old-fashioned because the
ordinary man, seeking approval of his so-called personality, prefers to follow
the dictates of his own peculiar style rather than submit to any objective
criterion of taste.
-- Jan Tschichold, The Form of the Book
The hero of my tale --- whom I love with all the power of my soul, whom I
have tried to portray in all his beauty, who has been, is and will be
beautiful --- is Truth.
-- Tolstoy, Sebastopol in May
`Why don't you believe in God?'
`I have no faith.'
`That's not true; by nature you are a believer, you cannot live without God.
Soon you will feel it. If you don't believe, it's out of stubborness and
spite, because the world isn't the way you would like it to be. Sometimes
people don't believe because they don't dare. That happens to the young:
they worship some woman but they don't want to let her see it, afraid she
won't understand; they have no courage. Faith, like love, demands courage,
boldness. You must tell yourself, "I believe," and everything will be
all right.'
-- Tolstoy (speaking to Gorky)
I could not simplify myself.
-- Ivan Turgenev, from a suicide note in
Virgin Soil
A well tied tie is the first serious step in life.
-- Oscar Wilde
`Very good, sir. Pardon me, your tie.'
`What's wrong with it?'
`Everything, sir. If you will allow me.'
`All right, go ahead. But I can't help asking myself if ties really matter
at a time like this.'
`There is no time when ties do not matter, sir.'
-- P.G. Woodhouse
--- 12-9-99 -----------------
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We
might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
The crows were calling his name, thought Caw.
Just as bees will swarm about to protect their nest, so will I `swarm about'
to protect my nest of chocolate eggs.
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
If you're a blacksmith, probably the proudest day of your life is when you get
your first anvil. How innocent you are, little blacksmith.
If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked
dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though.
It's Hambone.
We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off and go fishing. But we wouldn't
be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some whore he picked up in
town.
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself:
"Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind".
What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.
-- Jack Handy, Deep Thoughts
--- 12-11-99 -----------------
No opinion should be held with fervour. No one holds with fervour that seven
times eight is fifty-six, because it can be known that this is the case.
Fervour is only necessary in commending an opinion which is doubtful or
demonstrably false.
-- Bertrand Russell
--- 15-05-00 -----------------
Statistical approximations to War and Peace
by
Leo Tolstoy, Claude Shannon and Robert Farr.
1 point correlation (letters occur with correct probability):
D RVNHR C R E AOTLB S OK H ENENIUASIHVOI SNF L R CIEN MHWIGE
SPIKNSHASTTESCH ETIAOAO LI U IGN DTDMAAEFEEAEN TNTYE HOISLHTUENNDSA LMNE
EOEHCSNY FGSYT HDGVHRE NDOTFD N L P CNY A NTMNAEWE E OYEEOAE HNEL
RIMILKGHB QTI H TO ISOEENIIEDE E NLOE SHAEHPTSETEHTNURRTYL M IYHRRWITITED
ME UMP O CYOARUN EE TIMIGI EB IINOIVFL EW OCRROYO F OT T HPHNAO NN
TOAEE YISIAET OEERIR NA TT L NTEPRHLERI GH TVNTARHSYTHI RITSO
TLOMATNUEHTA NSITD PSIAR S RAGH AV NOTANN IYOTIP LCA AEKIR GRE
EWLINAEFLS NONEL NN HK WYT WOHSHRAEAE IHUU EREGOO SN H M ENIIKC E LTM
SALUS EXAGR G OO H OCUDREHRU ANOHNETO DW LCDE E UHI CHENGIRCT FYI
HRTREYT N SRTAMIISREH RNTNIRNI IGO G SH OOE RAWA TSFCSLLS MRM NW
NOFFMHKIAIOB MTSHLHUE NH OD HOSIDLID OFDEOP DREMI IA FSPDM T NKB EE
PYHEIHTAGNOF RER HWMNDWSSS ME WVA N U AINE TRUHD EN LVURSGMRH OSCYTOE
E TVUROAHD ELIIDDFERDT T SYD F EHHF IESAD FD NTWMAN RSEASRT SRDET LEE
TEU EHAYTTDHITNLSA EL S LIHSEN NOEIEIDNSUTUB H V EYN AAST EEC ODNT HE TO
ALHGISAUKS H WSD HDVOV ETTFPAEE OWHFSDFTHTST HED ACHADATENIPOIUALTOI
T OMSSHGUR LARDSHESU E A NTPDSISOTMAF EAROE RLSTSYEHTA MACGIRAIHEAGATEM
IPRWNEOKNEEMRNR FRPF Y A B SOE MM NETE RONA HEDAHAEWT WV E ROTNVLBTASU
S ASARIID MONRVO E GECIPSDLT Y EEBELTNLMVS TTNYWVIOP EO R FAIN WOAYERU ES
AHOSLRBHD TE H N EENM AT NE AEO E IELISSSRAA SEL
2 point correlation (correct pairs of letters):
WANERAD D T KE HOF ERE D HECTIN ATH VAVECH OS GHIN IGE TOOVESME
IANONIRESUPLORY O WHE GHANOTH TES PERO OUNKOWHECAND ASST BADEAT Y ITHISOWAL
SSHID MAVE TE WANN PES CLDIS ANAIKLLANAN ILTED HILYTHE EE TERYMAND
RINTHERYISAMEN HTHISO TOFE BEN Y RIGHOVLECE INCO TSOINED Y WASON
SSASOMSINTORLYOPE GUNG CHE D LEN SE THASED QU HAST TEVL REREOY OTHILDS
AD WIN FOLINGITHEARO AT WINALY SPAN F WIL OR WITINGHERE ACATEDOT ATIOUTOU
T WERY T WIN DE WE D W D HY AKI Y AT HAD YO PINDRERITHOONE CHA MANTH LMERES
AN MAPERIS MO ASSAM OUIEN AIFONTY TO T HALAINOOONG HAS PIDER HIS HANS LF
ONTRALILLLITHMST A SHIND ANS HIM SEATHIT OUT T HIDE AN D RST ENATOMAD DEMY
ITHEERY TREVIGO M STIN CENTOIS T BUNG L E M ANT TE ILLSCEADE BOM A R SAREN
SHER GHE GECOWE WHINCOURIN S SMIOIM FAR S D S PT KIR ANTUPLAIFOUG T Y
IENONN DOTE TE M T QUR AT AD INUS WERANGHECKLAROVE CALON ATHENTTHESAVEZUSET
WIS SUNTHICOTHE M ATAWA M RE WAND S THE MORTOY ATA S R ANG D MILF OU ALO BE
ANTAD S TY THI BERSIENCIFO IT H HASIS BYON ERONIND DER YTHAIDIMIMYORME TE
MAND PILL HETHELES YE BRE BRT MIEA ANTHERG O G BOWA TH TE ALIN ALLFOOFR
SQUESKHIN CEASHE FEASAPA SUNT CKNTHERY AD HEE WAS ARLID ANDIS WASE ZE
OPUNSUIDING RASINDMARIED WHEENDMANAIEVE THE FOO R NTHE CTHIVE HE SSOND
3 point correlation:
WELIDEAT THINCIZED TOOME YESSAITHE THE CHAVICH PART HE OT BECULDED NODY
OWN HE DER DERS THE BUT HE AND ANGREARYTHE ANDRIED DRINK FIFTYING OF AND
WO CHAIR ATIM I THE COME SHER FITYA THED BOT STIS TED BOY FROSED SOM T AT
PRIN MIKE AT TO RED THE VE MOTOO THAYS AGA CRONTO YOULDRECOU A AS GED AS
WIFITHE TOLD TH SPOSIDESTS AN AND VOR FROMIGHT DOWN HAVEREATASS SHATAND
CRIED NICKING ING TALLROILL PIED PRITHED ORDSHO NOTICEN I SPED STOE PAR
TAPER HING AND TH PIERVAS ARE SILICAND THER IN HE THISELL ANDECTE THIME
HIGHTEN THE PRIGHTFALLE WRINCESS IN S WHISE WART MID PRIN GE SON
EXPLAWITTED THATICAPPED SO LAND ASTRANDREENTRUT TO HAND HILE DOOR SUARAN
ALL ING OCCOMMAND TRIANK FICH TH PERVOUR YESTROOLE SITTING DEN T WHE THO
DEVE DROST WHE OF ON HAVE HIS SINESVITHERLIKE HE SEEN HE EN THEAT IT TO
FANG THE BRIES BEE QUADS FIREGS AND NED BACKS BE IN WITANTRAT PUT BECE HE
VEN T LL GO FORMY FARATIONEALKONSKINT THE IN REST A TO OF FRACH BRINEME
STAKEROAD ANTLY ANDOW PASSAID POSIA BETACED RERAIN BRE NAPTAFF OVERS ALF
OUTLY VOICE WAS THE HIMPAROAK TURPER THE LE POSEEM OF THAD WERES HE IF
COLOWN A SHE SUR CON SWO MOK BEEN SAN
4 point correlation:
WELL WHAT THAT LOVEMED AND ENJOYOUNT BREAKEN THE BODY DAUGHED THE YOURST
BE PRINCESSED HIM TO THE DRAWING MY DES SIDESCARE ARMY ROAD FOURSES COUND
AWAY FART OURS DRAGON TOR PLAIN SO SEEMED HIS GOINING HIS DARITIVER HE
HORS AT WENT HE LINE VOICERS IF ALL HOW TWISHE VALREAST WHEERS NORMED AND
TERS RODUCE TELL HAD REPRIVE MASON INCING AT SO EXPLACE VERYTHIZED EVERAL
AS FAR RYE S LIVER WHOLE BK CHALLENED A NEVERFOR THE EVED THE SUITE DOOR
THAT I WITHOULD CAMP DISAPPEARS HE BY THE STRIKE THE FULLY DID DRE VILL TO
CH AND LIKE OF THE GRAPE OH YET UND SAT BUT PIERRE PIERRE BY MARY RETURNED
BUT NIGH CUPON HE KREMLIN TO KNOW PIERRE HIM HIM AND LOOK SONYA UNDER REVER
BUILING IN THAN THE SUCH WAS THER THE HIM TOLDIER ASKI ON ARMY IS EXPREASE
TREETLY CH WHEN SECONTIONS FOR STRANGUISHING CALL EH SOON ON SUDDENTURE
5 point correlation:
WELL ME MOST GLANCIES ONLY JUST BK CH COULD BEEN NOT PRINCE AND EMBERED
THE RYAZAN TO THAN SHAKENED JUST OF A WINKLED IN THE
6 point correlation:
WELL KNOW AT YOUR SON SHEDS WE
--- 31-05-00 -----------------
Speak the language of the company you are in; speak it purely, and unlarded
with any other. Never seem wiser, nor more learned, than the people you are
with. Wear your learning, like your watch, in a private pocket: and do not
merely pull it out and strike it; merely to show that you have one. If you
are asked what o'clock it is, tell it; but do not proclaim it hourly and
unasked, like the watchman.
-- Lord Chesterfield,
Letters to His Son
--- 26-02-02 -----------------
A man should look as if he had bought his clothes with intelligence,
put them on with care, and then forgotten all about them."
Anything blatantly sexy can never be chic.
Over-exposure of the body is not chic.
Great style is insouciance --- it is very vulgar to be impressed by your own clothes.
I hate strapless bodices, for example, because any man looking
at one thinks: "How the hell does she keep the thing up?" Nobody has ever
been elegant in a strapless dress because it implies that you're
making your bust work for you.
There's no such thing as a designer of menswear - it's only history.
The suit around the world is based on the English suit, which began in
about 1670. Any man, whether he's American, Japanese, French or
whatever, who wants to be seriously well dressed, looks to the
Englishman's suit for how to achieve it. All those countries have the
good sense to know that they should attend to the dress of the English
upper classes, whose style has been admired and copied for 300 years.
I never see any elegant dressed young women. They don't try hard
enough.
-- Sir Hardy Amies
------------------------------
[ your .plan is too long. ]
don't read it in one sitting;
it took me longer than one to write it
[ .plan scroll too fast for me to read. ]
type finger -m tmf20@tcm1.phy.cam.ac.uk | more
[ i just want to see if you're logged in. ]
type finger -mp tmf20@tcm1.phy.cam.ac.uk
-- Terrence Chay
------------------------------