Scones

A scone is a useful device for bearing jam and cream. A scone with fruit in it is a useful device for bearing butter, and will not be considered further.

plate of scones

Above we see two wrongs, and one right. These are, anticlockwise from the back:

  1. scone, jam, and cream poured over
  2. scone with raft of jam slowly sinking into puddle of cream
  3. scone, cream and jam

The point is that cream is an indulgent substitute for butter. It should therefore be of firm constituency, preferably clotted, but, if one is outside of the export market of Devon and Cornwall, then firmly whipped cream will do. Semi-liquid splodges are unsuited to decorous consumption.

The word "aerosol" may no longer provoke debate about whether it contains three syllables or four, but there is no room for debate about whether it should contain any foodstuff.

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